The holiday season can stir memories, traditions, music, and senses that carry deep emotional significance. For all of us, this time of year offers opportunities for connection and comfort, but it can also bring a sense of feeling overwhelmed, confused, or feelings of loss and loneliness. There is an opportunity for us to change our focus from the tasks associated with preparing for the festive season to relationships and connectedness. To achieve this, we need to shift from routines which inevitably come with preparing for Christmas to the meaningful moments which create memories and new parts of our story through the holiday season.
The heart of care is human presence. The goal is not to stimulate, entertain, or “keep busy,” but to BE alongside one another, to nurture belonging, identity, and emotional safety. To BE present in the moment. At Christmas, the principle of being together and sharing the experience matters more than ever. After all, isn’t this the true message of Christmas?
Here are some key thoughts for us all to remember this Christmas:
The Season is Felt, Not Remembered. Many people living with dementia or mental health problems may find some memories to be too painful or may not recall past holiday moments clearly. Yet the feeling of Christmas – warmth, belonging and togetherness is still an important part of creating new experiences and memories for people. Let’s remember we meet emotional moments in the present, not memories from the past.
Creating Spaces of Belonging is important for supporting emotional memory to be triggered. During Christmas, small, thoughtful touches can help sustain a sense of warmth and identity:
- Keep decorations simple and familiar.
- Display soft lighting rather than bright, flashing patterns.
- Play gentle, well-known carols rather than fast, festive noise.
- Create cozy corners where someone may simply sit with a warm drink and breathe.
Belonging does not require conversation. It grows through being together. The key to supporting belonging is to embrace the idea of slowing down together. In many health and social care settings, Christmas can accidentally shift toward performance, i.e. large group activities, themed events or parties, and busy calendars. But activity is not always connection. Emotion-focused care gives permission to slow down. To choose quality over quantity.
Christmas is a time to honour identity and story. Every person has a history of how they “used to do Christmas”. Some traditions bring a sense of joy. Some bring grief. Others, peace and comfort. We honour identity by following the emotional cues we see in the people around us, not by insisting on traditions. Connection is not created by doing what we have always done. It is created by doing what feels meaningful now.
As caregivers, whether family, support workers, nurses, companions, or friends, we sometimes think we must make the season joyful. But joy is not something we create. Joy is experienced when people feel safe, seen, respected and emotionally connected.
The most meaningful gift any of us can offer this Christmas is ourselves… our warmth, our attention, our presence.
Christmas does not need to be big to be meaningful. It does not need to be loud to be joyful. It does not need to be remembered to be felt. When we take an emotions first approach, we see that the heart remembers what the mind forgets. So, this Christmas among all the traditions, the busyness, the abundance of food and the presents, let’s celebrate presence over perfection. Let’s prioritise comfort and belonging and make moments that matter.
Happy Christmas.
Managing Director MCM